Additionally, some of his odor turned out to be caused by stomach problems (acid reflux type stuff). Wife doesn't want to kiss much anymore : r/Marriage Access your favorite topics in a personalized feed while you're on the go. Any suggestions anyone? Good luck. ", "Most couples in love mirror each other and thus walk in sync," Reiman told INSIDER. My parents won't let me hug/kiss my boyfriend. I don't remember when this became such a problemwe used to be just a couple of horny you-know-whats. Men respond better to positive feedback rather than negative. You want your kisses to leave your date breathless, but not literally. Looking at my husband recently, I wondered to myself, when did we stop kissing like REALLY kissing? The result was, I knew he wanted some sex that night because that's the ONLY time he brushed his teeth. I had to do that to my husband, and now he brushes all the time just to see what I'll do. We have been married for almost 9 years and I have no idea how to fix this problem. Has it been a while since you got a good look at your partner's eyes? My parents won't let me hug/kiss my boyfriend. How should I I wanted that kind of kissing back in my marriage. First of all, it's essential to distinguish the different types of love and whether any of those types remain. and that you don't like kissing him because of it? Hygiene is something that is very important and your husband needs to understand that if he doesn't take care of the germs that grow in his mouth, it could lead to other health issues. I just can't do it anymore. Sorry!! Remember when you were younger and you dreamed of a man who would treat you like a princess and Love you unconditionally? We just had to search. I would be completely direct with him. Stinky breath is one of the body's ways of telling us something is up. In his book The Kiss and its History, Kristoffer Nyrop describes the kiss of love as an exultant message of the longing of love, love eternally young, the burning prayer of hot desire, which is born on the lovers lips., Nyrop also compares it to achievements in life: Thus even the highest work of art, yet, the loftiest reputation, is nothing in, Coffee Shop Gypsy. Oh I remember this so well. Tell it is gross and a turn-off. In August 2020, a poem purportedly written by Frida Kahlo to her husband often titled "If I Have To Ask" or "I have to ask you, I don't want it anymore" spread virally on social media. I must say there's a photo from around the time we first met though, and it's her pulling back from me during a kiss, so I honestly think this might be the answer, but let me know your thoughts. While at the dentist, possibly take the hygienist aside and ask her to educate your husband on why oral care is important. Hi M., It has been more than a decade into marriage, and when my husband and I kiss nowadays, it looks more like my grandmother pecking me on the cheek than anything else. 9 Body Language Signs That Your Relationship Is Doomed She'll give me a peck on the lips and if I try to take it further than that, she says "I don't want my face eaten." Tell him what you DO like, they're far more likely to respond. So I challenged my husband to give it a go. I don't think it's a physical appearance issue. She was never close with her Dad at all. You resent him. "Eye contact is incredibly intimate," Reiman told INSIDER. It's one thing, after all, to say, "I'm not in love with my husband." It's another to say, "I don't like my husband." We'll get into that. Good luck honey, be open and honest, and sweet. Before you see her or before you go in for a kiss, freshen up your breath. This is serious and will only get worse from here if it is not addressed. Is It Normal to Lose Feelings in a Relationship? Try getting one for your hubby. So, got him to the doc (no small issue! That is where a lot of the bad odor comes from also. Two people may think that they are fighting about the kids or the in-laws or about whether to renovate the kitchen, but underneath it all is that unspoken tension related to the pressure of establishing a satisfying sexual relationship for both parties. Or just tell him that it is ok athat he doesn't want to impress everyone else. Life is hard, but it's better when you're not alone. Is there a reason for the stinky breath? Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but unwillingness to attend to basic hygiene issues is a symptom of major depression, as well as loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities, especailly sex. Get counseling. And they cant forget problems until they get solvedlike an itch that needs to be scratched. INSIDER spoke with body language expertTonya Reiman to see if your body language can raise some red flags for your relationship. Does How It Ended Negate the Marriage Itself? Posted August 8, 2012 You're right, you shouldn't have to tell a grown man that he needs to brush his teeth. Maybe you could get a big bottle of Scope and suggest that you both use some before you make out, to make it all "minty fresh" for both of you. I think it is gross to walk around toothless, but I guess that is one reason he is my EX. She feels that her husband is out of sync with her emotional state and concerns. Word Practitioner. Why?? Get him to the dentist and tell the doctor ahead of time what the problem is. He hardly ever brushes his teeth. A good way to lose some of this love and passion is by moving from kisses with tongue to quick pecks on the lips. Zealous kissing needs to become mandatory in my marriage. anyone else ever gone thru this? Im looking at women who have no history of sexual trauma. I finally told my hubby, because I didnt want him to think I didn't love him or want to kiss him. Do You Have A Fat Kid? Individual and couples. good luck! so we made a deal that i won't say anything about them as long as he eats them on the far side of the couch from me and brushes his teeth afterward. i just have frank discussions with my husband about what turns me on/off. Have you been thinking, "I don't love my husband anymore?" Does it feel like you don't know which way to turn? Vikki Stark, M.S.W., M.F.T., is a family therapist and the director of the Sedona Counselling Centre of Montreal. Not to mention, it is affecting your marriage. I don't agree you can't teach a dog new tricks. When I asked her why she thinks she doesn't like to kiss, she shrugged and said "I don't know. He is cheating on you. And when was the last time we felt like nervous teenagers? I might suggest a dentist appointment- if his breath is that bad there might be something wrong- like a medical issue. Using a piece of gum is just a cover up and all that bacteria is still there and his mouth would not come close to my mouth until he brushed, even if there are underlying problems the brushing has to happen daily. Now the worst thing here is that bad breath is caused by underlying problems. Possibly organize family dentist visits for everyone, including him. Home is a place people need to feel accepted,and I think it will do harm to your marriage if you give him the impression you are ashamed of him. by Katie Smith January 30, 2023 at 2:41pm PM EST Dmitriy Kapitonenko/Adobe Stock 100 Vibrators We'd Recommend to All Our Friends 100 Images Oral sex can hold a lot of weight in a relationship. So i thought about it for a long time, while driving around because that seems to help me, and when I got back home I told my husband that i will try a little longer to make things work with him. tell him it is for you both to have stonger teeth. A Personal Perspective: How to move forward when you feel powerless. I would write him a note and nicely let him know that you want him to take care of himself so he is around as long as possible, that you still are so attracted to him and even though he doesn't care about his teeth it is affecting you and that you are much more attracted when you know he is taking care of himself. Reply deb January 14th, 2015 at 9:09 PM I have been married for 4 years now . PREGNANT AND AWAITING MOTHERS - 4TH JULY, 2023 STAY CONNECTED AND BE BLESSED #zionprayermovementoutreach #zpmom #zionprayermovementoutreachlive. 47-year-old said despite being 12 years . After she cheated on me, she informed the that the OM was a good kisser. Get that other person out of your equation. We do it all together. I said yes. He brought home the bacon and that was that. But his breath still stinks. I don't want to have sex with him, i don't want him to kiss me, i don't want him to hug me, i don't really ever want to be around him. "Eye contact shows trust and emotional openness [and] tells the partner 'I am yours.' i understand that it would be a turn on to you, but it does the opposite to me. In good times, sex is a wonderful way to give and receive love. The discovery of porn in a committed relationship can be a crisis of exposure and trust. Additionally, I started talking about an article I had recently read about how men with gingivitis are in a much higher risk category for heart problems. Good luck! My wife and I've been together for 14 years, married for nearly 8. But if your partner is making a pointedly avoiding eye contact, and they don't seem to have any good reason for doing so, you might want to have a talk with them. Is Planned Sex Just as Good as Spontaneous Encounters? Was this a stupid idea? PREGNANT AND AWAITING MOTHERS - 4TH JULY, 2023 - Facebook echoing suzzanego on a sex strike until he starts brushing. tonightmy husbandasked me if i miss him when he's gone, and if i enjoy kissing him and hugging him. If it has been a while since you started feeling disgusted by his touch, think about when it first started. If your partner once offered up their eyes and suddenly stops, it's a red flag. Remember how you want to be romanced into doing things. Two seductively beautiful characters were engaged in a passionate kiss, and I felt myself growing hot under the collar and lowering my eyelids while I drifted off in memories of sitting on my husbands lap while we kissed hands roaming around our young bodies, perspiration gilding our young skin. She knows girls check me out from time to time, but I don't mention it because I don't see the point and she'll just get mad anyway. This is part of removing yourself from the equation. When was the last time your husband had his teeth cleaned. One thing I stink at is being more handy around the house, but that is fixable of course). Relationships have ups and downs but you stand no chance if you don't first start by getting rid of the primary distraction. This shut down typically appears a few years into the relationship, often after the kids are born. What To Do When You Feel No Emotional Connection With Your Husband I have no idea how the people he works with stand it. Updated. I work out 6 days a week. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. New Season Prophetic Prayers and Declarations [NSPPD] || 6th This is not a problem I have encountered with the men in my life. I think it's just me." At some point during our marriage, the genuinely passionate kissing part just slowly faded away. out of a day that affects so many things. A few days ago, i finally worked up the nerve to tell him how I was feeling. as well as other partner offers and accept our, "Eye contact is incredibly intimate," Reiman told INSIDER. What Happened When The Kissing Stopped In My Marriage Therefore, a possible reason your husband won't touch you may be due to this. They aren't kissing him, so they probably haven't noticed he is "the stinky guy." You sound like a bored little girl. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. But no more hands in my hair and closed eyes while we kiss. He's not kissing you because he is extra careful, so you don't think the only thing he is interested in is your body. Anyway good luck. Not only have I been unhappy but I've also spent some time with another guy, who i like alot. I've mulled this one over before and think there might be some merit to it. According to Reiman, part of being in a successful relationship involves "stepping into someone's shoes and experiencing what they are experiencing. "It typically shows when an individual is uncomfortable or stressed and therefore could be another red flag.". See if you can get him to go see a health care professional. Heres What To Do. good luck and remember talk. I leaned back and reached up to smooth out the sharp feeling in my mouth. If that's not it, try to compliment the positive (like when he DOES brush his teeth) instead of criticizing the negative (when he doesn't). ), got the acid pretty much under control, and the breath is better (usually). Your clicks keep us alive! Depression. because he wants to be physical, he keeps his part of the bargain. I shave every day for work, but also floss and brush my teeth. Listerine is so strong it kills bacteria and improves breath for a lont time. I just couldn't see it at the time! I agree that you should tell your husband that it is making you disinterested in intimacy--even if he doesn't care what others think, maybe he cares what YOU think! Eighteen months on she is still living with the consequences of the revelation and wants others to . Please!!! After some common fights we've had each year, I also made immediate changes to prevent them from happening again. I'm gonna say the same thing! All the same, it can be useful to know which body language clues to look out for you know, just in case. Has he seen a dentist recently? Your lucky he's so good to you. Things that we probably SHOULD be doing to keep our relationship alive and healthy. ", Obviously, this doesn't mean that you and your significant other have to spend hours gazing into one another's eyes. And if that guy isn't bothered by you seeing him while you are married you can bet he doesn't have an issue with cheating on you at some point in the future. Do you like to tongue kiss with your spouse? Because I do and don't hold back to save any feelings (Oh! I Don't like Kissing My Husband - Mamapedia I also don't know what to do. he would love it if i randomly flashed him, but suddenly seeing his privates near my face when i'm distracted by something else is not a turn on to me at all. I, on the other hand, don't like thinking what other people think about him, let alone think about me and why I am married to 'the stinky guy. If you want to be with the other person you need to leave now and not string along your husband and if you want to work on the marriage then you need to cut the other guy out completely. Obviously, this doesn't mean that you and your significant other have to spend hours gazing into one another's eyes. Her Mom basically raised her and her siblings by herself. My husband and I are both 24 andhave been together for about 3 1/2 years now. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. I breastfed and I didn't sleep at all. I'm sure you can guess that, that didn't go over very well with him. Beyond that, keep a pack of strong mints next to the bed and other places around the house. I have kindly asked him, on many occasions, if he would like some gum, but he refuses! How Couples Deal With the Loss of Physical Attraction The problem feels big, but once it comes out from under the covers, its solvable. If you like this article, please share it! symbolizes intimacy, emotional closeness, and happiness in a relationship," Reiman said. She grew to resent me, so she didnt want to kiss me. Of course, it was. The OM was blowing smoke up her ass, so the kissing felt great. I tried that. I really don't want to give up everything that we have but I just can't seem to make myself want him. It isn't that we don't find each other attractive anymore, it is more like we are so out of practice that we feared it would feel like smooching a stranger should we give the old Frech method a whirl. Really, the best solution, would be to tell him, straight up, that he has some rank breath and he needs to do something about it. the fact that there is someone else in the wings makes all the difference. Read more: 9 things you're doing wrong when you kiss since last December (I'm 6'2" 181 lbs.). He was on my case constantly. Since our first missed miscarriage on Christmas Eve/Day 2021, it has taken my husband, Luke, and I over a year to fall pregnant a second time. I finally told him that his breath was stinky and if he wanted to kiss me or do anything else, he needed to do something about it. 10 likes, 2 comments - (@clarissadelefairchild_official) on Instagram: " . That's all I can think of! So he would brush his teeth every two weeks or so and then expect sex in return. If cutting the other man out and trying to make that honest effort still doesnt make you happy then end things but take my advicedont go running to the other guy! As a matter of fact, I enjoyed it a lot. I've told her and she acknowledges that it is weird. I don't think it's a physical appearance issue. I tried to drop little hints at first, and that didn't seem to work. Last night, I went out with friends to celebrate the end of exam season, and got a bit drunk (I don't do this often). Im not entirely sure how we landed here in this space of passionless kisses except to say that time has a funny way of marching off with bits and pieces of youth that I had hardly noticed were missing. He wasn't happy about that but said he can forgive me. Welcome to Ravishly, where we celebrate the mess of being human. Weve been married for 2 years in July. I know that I am a good kisser, its more about the feelings. Thats part of it, but in long-term relationships, sex is also the fastest route for a man to feel close and connected to his wife. I tell my husband when his breath bothers me, and he tells me. Any advice would be wonderful? Couples sitting down to watch a movie have a tendency to lean toward one another with their heads, bodies or feet," Reiman said. Please think about this. I brought this up to my husband, and we both laughed uncomfortably. We had our first baby in august of last year. H. I think people have given great at advice on the bad breath issue. This discussion is archived and locked for posting. and our I think you should work it out with your man, u fell in love with him before. He also needs to be sure and brush is tongue. Eliza didn't know where to turn for help when she found out about her husband's sex addiction. If you find your partner is always left panting for breath after kissing you, it may be a sign that your style is so aggressive that they're not able to breathe properly during the kiss. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. I wanted that back. I mean, you told your husband about the other man and he forgave Youand said he wanted to make it work?!? Women in my office often complain that their husbands want sex as if thats a bad thing. Everyone should brush their teeth AND tongue (which holds a lot of bacteria). About 6 years ago, we had been together about a year my husband was One In Five: Our Second Miscarriage Story. She wasnt like that before marriage but after we got married she only wants to tongue kiss if we have sex. Maybe if you tell him, kissing grosses you out, it will be an eye opener. The heart issue was mentioned several times. 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"Touching, whether it's hugging, kissing, snuggling, or spooning tells the other person you are close to them as itsymbolizes intimacy, emotional closeness, and happiness in a relationship," Reiman said. Do you make the dentist appointments? Oh sweetie! Attachment styles make a difference in navigating the social/sexual environment. ', You might try taking the Real Age quiz together. Brush your teeth, pop a mint in your mouth, or chew gum. I'm ambitious and want to be free to do things. Sometimes this will help. It will involve some work. Get him to the dentist. We always have arguments about the situation and he doesn't care to change or spice it up. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, "It depends on me whether life is good or not. He tries REALLY hard to make his breath better, but he has tonsil stones and there is very little he can do about it. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. Heartbreak If You're Suddenly Disgusted By Your Partner, It May Be Sudden Repulsion Syndrome The reason you're over it, explained. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. Kissing has become that thing. They can brush and brush but still have problems with odor because the cause is deeper than teeth and mouth. I can't stand when my sweetheart breathes on me at night because it smells so horrible. He stops asking about your life. Hopefully the dentist can set him on the right track healthwise. Once in a while, we would spice things up with a sassy slap on the ass at the tail end of a goodbye for the day. I worked for a Dentist starting at age 16. Create an account or log in to participate. If you want your marriage to work, you need to get away from this other guy. Whereas in the past, they used to have a fun, relaxed time in bed, now it has become a psychological wrestling match, with her avoiding and him bewildered and unsure how to proceed. women need to be more literal. Women's sexual desire varies greatly, and some women describe having very high levels of sexual interest. 25 Signs Your Husband Doesn't Love You Anymore. I tell him this all the time, but sometimes even when he does brush his teeth his breath still has a lingering onion/salsa smell to it, which I think could be due to the plaque problem. Abandoned women feel they have invested a lot in the marriage without getting to reap the benefits. He is now more aware of what food does not work well with him and because he would rather kiss and not get stinky, he avoids those foods. So is the sex. If your partner once offered up their eyes and suddenly stops, it's a red flag.". more healthy. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. 5. Getting away from the hum-drum reinvigorates all aspects of our lives. We set a date for a quiet evening together sans kids and chores. If it is a dental problem that can't be fixed by regular brushing then you may need to talk to a dentist and figure ou what to do. Good hygeine habits need to be instilled while young. It's a mysterious package, delivered by subtle sensory clues. Tonight I went to his break to take him his supper and as soon as he got in the car, he grabbed me and started kissing me. It's an issue of does he care enough about himself and his family to take care of himself? In my former-husband's case the problem was not a physical ailment at all but simply that he did not care to bother with brushing his teeth. We cry. Now all I can think about is how miserable life would be without him!!! It was a lovely moment embracing that memory, but I felt embarrassed immediately afterward. You owe your husband a real reason as to why you don't want to stay. But my suggestion to you is this, if you have a regular doctor then go to him and ask his advice. We worked out our issues and all is good. Sexless marriages suffer the loss of intimacy due to a loss of sharing and being known. What i try to do is when i put toothpaste on my toothbrush I grab his and then put the toothpaste away.